eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
