I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize