I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
