Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
