Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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