"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
