i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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