You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
