i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
