Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize