Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
