tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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