I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
