Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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