Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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