so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You are the jesus of drinking
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
