Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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