we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize