I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
