We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize