i may or may not be watching the land before time
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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