Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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