her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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