Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
