I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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