she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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