Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
