In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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