My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
