I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
