Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
