remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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