Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
