Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
