i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
