i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize