sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
