You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
