we have officially lost it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
