Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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