You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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