dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
