are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
