Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
