can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
