Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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