how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
