I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
