i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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