Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize