It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
