oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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