I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
