Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
