I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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