whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
