Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize