The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
