so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
