im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize