going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
