btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
